Family is essential in our lives as it affects our mental status, our behavior in society, and our personal life. It’s about faith, love, understanding, hope, comfort, advice, values, morals, etc. It should always be there for us, in good and bad times.
The relationship with our family should be one of the strongest relationships in our lives, if not the strongest of them all. However, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t distance ourselves from a toxic family member.
Sometimes, it’s ok to cut this person out of your life, and here are the signs that will tell you it’s time for you to do that.
1. The Person Is Negative, Rejects Your Attempts to Help Them, and Brings You Down
When someone in your family doesn’t accept your help no matter how hard you try to help them, at the same time bringing you down and spreading nothing but negativity, it’s a sign they are a toxic person. A family means being there for each other and accepting each other’s help when needed.
If you spend too much time around a family member that’s only focused on the negative, the chances are they will gradually make you feel bad about yourself as well.
Have you ever been in a situation when you offer someone your support and a more positive way of looking at a certain event, and as a return, they behave in a wrong way that makes you feel bad about yourself? Although it’s normal for everyone to feel pessimistic from time to time, being negative all the time is not normal, as well as refusing your help or advice. In that case, stop trying to help them, and re-evaluate the relationship with that family member.
2. The Person Is Always Judgmental
A family member who cares about you is not afraid to give you some tough love. We all need that from time to time. However, exhibiting tough love and being judgmental all the time is not the same.
For example, if a family member is concerned you’re going out with someone who doesn’t treat you right or is drinking too much, it’s ok to tell you something you don’t want to hear as that means they care about you. It means they want you to be happy and healthy.
But, if they judge you for every decision in your life, such as your job, friends, or outfit, it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship. If spending time with them makes you feel drained or emotionally exhausted, you better distance from them asap. You deserve to be treated in the way you treat that person, so if they don’t treat you with respect, you have no obligations to spend time with them.
3. The Person Never Admits When They’re Wrong
Isn’t it annoying when someone in your life never admits when they are wrong? Somehow, this person never makes mistakes. Strange, right? Well, that’s because no one is perfect, and we all make mistakes occasionally, and every reasonable person who cares about you will admit that something they did is their fault.
Even though it’s not ok to diminish a person’s experience of being a victim of abuse, assault, or anything else, be careful of family members who blame you for everything that goes wrong in their lives.
They always play the victim and believe the universe is not fond of them, so they never take responsibility for their mistakes.
Spending too much time around this person is not healthy, so it’s probably best to avoid them.
4. They Are Always Going Through Some “Struggle” and Make a Fuss About Nothing
A toxic person carries out most daily tasks with a sense of drama. Somehow, situations at work or home always get out of control, and they never forget to tell you how bad things are.
They make a fuss about nothing, and they are always going through some struggle, being the perfect drama queen. They may even affect you with their dramatic state, so it’s best to be aware of it and not let that happen. It’s just a way to attract attention and make their lives more exciting.
5. They Are Inconsistent in Their Treatment of You
Do you have a family member in your life who’s loving and caring one day, and the next one is all judgmental and insulting? Well, that’s a clear sign you’re dealing with a toxic person. The reason for their inconsistent treatment is probably because they want to manipulate you into doing something, as well as to attract attention. That’s their way of controlling you.
They constantly change between positive and negative reinforcement. They insult you, lash and yell at you, but then they offer you support and fake praise as a way to coax you back into their trap.
If this reminds you of someone in your life, you better stay away from them.
6. This Person Is Selfish
When this person is down or in bad condition, they are always here to ask for help of talk to you. What they usually want is emotional support and comfort.
But, they will distance themselves from you the moment they get better. And because they are selfish, they are busy when it’s their turn to offer help and comfort. They prefer to ignore your state without asking you if you need some help or at least a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to your problems.
Instead, they’ll keep on asking for help when they need it from you. It’s time to change that!
7. The Person Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries
A person who ignores your wish to stop behaving in a certain way and to respect your boundaries is a toxic person. They are not used to respecting your boundaries but keep on violating them because that makes them happy and fulfilled in a weird way. Remember, without healthy boundaries, you won’t be able to protect your emotional health and well-being from their wrong intentions.
If these behaviors remind you of a family member, they are most likely a toxic person who gets the best of you. Stop letting them manipulate you and bringing you down, and cut them out of your life. You deserve better treatment from the people that love you. Therefore, you don’t need them in your life!
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