While it may not look like a big deal, whether you are an introvert or not, it can strongly affect your relationships. But, introversion is a blessing in disguise. Introverts make some of the best friends, as well as students and employees – and lovers of course – around.
However, being with an introvert when you are not one is sometimes very hard. Introverts are a lot more unique than we tend to give them credit for and most of the time, and most of the time they need more space than most other people in the world. When it comes to being with an introvert, you should know certain things. If you can understand and accept those things, your relationship is going to be a lot better. These are the things which most people never take the time to let sink in truly. So, in order to have a flourishing relationship with one of the “quiet ones,” here are ten things which you should know:
1. Introversion is not the same as shyness.
Only because your date is an introvert, it does not mean that he or she is particularly shy. Outgoing introverts also exists, as do why extroverts. Shyness refers to uneasiness in the midst of social interaction, and not all introverts feel this way. They can be perfectly comfortable around big groups of people. They merely need some time alone after all.
2. If they are not affectionate, it does not mean that they are not into you.
While some introverts are affectionate, others are not. As we are people, we tend to crave affection. But, when it comes to dating an introvert, you have to understand that just as he or she is not all over you constantly, does not mean that they do not want you around or like you in that way. They only do things differently.
3. Introverts can go days without seeing or even speaking with you.
This does not mean that your introvert partner loves you any less. Introverts simply cherish the moments of solitude to reflect and recuperate, which is going to make the time they spend with you that much sweeter.
4. However, they don’t like small talk; they prefer meaningful conversation.
Small talk is their enemy, so they are not fans of it. Introverts prefer quality or quantity, which may be the reason why they say so little. Deep, as well as personal conversations, rev their energies. They also want to get your family and make you happy but they also struggle with these kinds of things.
5. Without communication, things will never work.
Communication is an essential part of each relationship, but when you are dating an introvert, it is even more important. You have to voice your concerns, as well as needs, as he or she is not going to know you want more attention if you never speak up, they are introverts, and not mind readers.
6. They have loyalty like no other.
Introverts do not waste their time on building relationships with just anyone and everyone, so you should consider yourself a lucky one. Introverts can sense bullshit from a mile away. So, as long as they know your intentions are good and your love is genuine, they will remain by your side for the long haul.
7. Sometimes, they withdraw and it is not your fault at all.
Sometimes, introverts withdraw and this is not often because of you or anyone for that matter. They just need some space for their own. While sometimes they will need a little more space than usual, you should not obsess over it, as it is perfectly normal.
8. Expect to initiate in the bedroom.
Or at least, they can be good at reading body language. They will not always look you in the eye and shout “I’m in heat!” but they will just look you in the eyes, maybe nibble on your ear, and you better know what it means in the right place, as well as at the right time.
9. You cannot change an introvert.
The introvert is never going to become an extrovert overnight. You don’t have the ability to change him or her and that is something that you have to accept for sure. They are who they are and if you cannot accept these things about your introvert partner, your relationship will be doomed.
10. You should know your partner.
When does your partner get aggravated? How long is too long where social interaction is included? When does he or she start shutting down, or closing out? These are some of the things which you should always ask yourself, no matter the personality trait your partner identifies with. Engaging in some activities that both of you enjoy is going to keep things fun and interesting.
Sure, most of these things are fairly simple, but you would be quite surprised at the number of people that obsess over them and refuse to understand. Introverts are not as complicated as we think they are actually, but they are definitely not ‘black and white’ like some people that would like for them to be.
Every one of us falls on different points of the introversion-extroversion spectrum; no one is fully one or the other. Introverts are some of the greatest listeners, as well as advice-givers, and nurturers around. Just like any other person that is in a relationship, they often open up once when they feel comforted and safe. So, when you find yourself becoming close with one of the “quiet ones,” you will also find that they are not so hard to crack after all.
If you date an introvert, we hope that this is helpful for you.