Some people enter our lives to teach us not to be like them. As Oscar Wilde loved to say:
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde.
Nonetheless, even these people teach us something, even though they make us suffer, they give us the ability to act upon our feelings different than the way they do.
Viktor Frankl said that everything in life is potentially important and we can learn lessons from the things that made us suffer.
While sometimes we can not find the meaning of certain negative relationships, they really give us a vision of the world previously unknown to us.
In other words, it means that such experiences will teach us what to value and what brings us only suffering. They show us what we don’t want in and from life.
Our principles and point of view are solidified thanks to certain experiences we’ve been through.
Being witnesses of injustice and feeling great discomfort caused by the behaviour of others, helps us to think about our own principles and to reinforce our beliefs on what is good and what is bad.
Deception, coldness, self-centeredness do harm. I lot of harm. Sometimes, the best thing is when you can’t recognize the people who once surrounded you. There are people who end up showing what and who they really are, when they no longer need us, and they don’t even try to hide it.
When this happens, the pain itself makes us reassess our own priorities and behavior toward others. For this reason, sometimes experiencing bad situation make us better people.
It helps us to valorize other feelings and to encourage our growth. All this requires a great internal job, which will only allow us to move forward and not accumulate weakness, guilt or dissatisfaction.
Removing people who create problems is good for our health and the soul.
When we move away from the people who hurt us, that’s good because it gives us advantage. In other words, we can take advantage of the fact that their reactions and intentions become more and more predictable. This allows us to deal differently with others because we can now manage the environment in a better way.
In that sense, we should not give so much importance to what these people are doing, but to focus on the lessons we can draw from what we have experienced, helping ourselves to create opportunities for growth and work on our self-confidence and strength.
In the end, the one who expects a lot, always end up disappointed. It’s plain toxic to your mind, body and soul.
Maintaining a perspective will help us achieve a certain indifference and climb down this emotionally unstable mountain. It will allow us to separate our own problems from other peoples’ problems and to be free from insecurity and inappropriate reactions.
The idea is to crystallize our ideas and expose our thoughts and emotions without fearing the consequences. This will give us quick, direct and, at the same time, satisfactory results: our problems will be reduced and we will be able to live in peace.
When someone tries to intentionally harm us, then we have to choose whether to leave our emotional windows open and enter into what will suffocate us.
Life is too short to stress about what people around us are saying or doing. For this reason, the best decision we can make is to stay as far as possible from anything that is negative and to get closer to what makes us better.
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Image Credit: Shutterstock (licensed by SDS)/By Tanya Shatseva
Via Conscious Reminder (re-posted with kind permission)